There comes a time in a year or so when u are bound to introspect yourself...the basic lying assumption being the incapabilities u start witnessing...
the time when nothing goes right...well absolutely that is...
can say experiencing a somewhat tough time on the emotional exposure and trauma front...
when i introspected lately i found one very unusual thing that used to exist in my subconscious mind but is out now...
FRIENDS
still haven't figured out what the very word means...
is it just emotional support and understanding or being there for each other...
why is that u make friends as if theres no tomorrow...and pact it with undying promises for being there with and for each other...and then comes the sudden demise of the very base of friendship...1 .. 2...3 n everything vanishes but u still go onn and make new friends...
i think thats a human characteristic one cannot overcome...
similliar is with me..
i make uncountable friends...get attached to some... give my heart and mind out for some...do everything possible...but 90% of them leave the bond in a fraction of a second...when am totally attached to them they aren't even 5 %...
dunno why is this so complex...a friend u used to trust ..respect...feel proud about...becomes a undying nightmare u just wished u never had...just for the reason that u invested so much of emotional labour thats gone point blank waste!
one more characteristic feature of this suddden breaking of bond is that it also carries with it negativity and hatred...
its soo damn complex that relationships, people, values change so fast...
and after everything am left with a question and a resolution:
QUESTION:
What was my fault?where did I went wrong in proving my ex-friend that i really feel he/she was important to me?
and the RESOLUTION:
I would be more patient and careful choosing my friends ahead.
BUT here am again on the brink of another such moment when i realize the same question and resolution and introspct myself on where did i went wrong this time?
And the only thing that comes in my mind is:
I never did wrong to my Ex friend...It was his/her decision to spoil whatever bond we had ( mainly because of back bitching,not trusting me,a small argument o whatever!)
it was there decision to go find new friends.
i don't stop them.
however i will wait for the time when they would realize my worth one day in the future and would ask themselves,,why did they ruined it all...
and that day i would be at peace as i would prove my credential as a friend to atleast a handfull of Ex friends...
Life comes back at you.
people come and go...friendship grow ..friendship shrinks...but one day.. one thought ..one moment can change everything taking u back on track to the road u left...
thats life
however we never stop making friends or remembering the old ones...
we just go onn and onn.
the time when nothing goes right...well absolutely that is...
can say experiencing a somewhat tough time on the emotional exposure and trauma front...
when i introspected lately i found one very unusual thing that used to exist in my subconscious mind but is out now...
FRIENDS
still haven't figured out what the very word means...
is it just emotional support and understanding or being there for each other...
why is that u make friends as if theres no tomorrow...and pact it with undying promises for being there with and for each other...and then comes the sudden demise of the very base of friendship...1 .. 2...3 n everything vanishes but u still go onn and make new friends...
i think thats a human characteristic one cannot overcome...
similliar is with me..
i make uncountable friends...get attached to some... give my heart and mind out for some...do everything possible...but 90% of them leave the bond in a fraction of a second...when am totally attached to them they aren't even 5 %...
dunno why is this so complex...a friend u used to trust ..respect...feel proud about...becomes a undying nightmare u just wished u never had...just for the reason that u invested so much of emotional labour thats gone point blank waste!
one more characteristic feature of this suddden breaking of bond is that it also carries with it negativity and hatred...
its soo damn complex that relationships, people, values change so fast...
and after everything am left with a question and a resolution:
QUESTION:
What was my fault?where did I went wrong in proving my ex-friend that i really feel he/she was important to me?
and the RESOLUTION:
I would be more patient and careful choosing my friends ahead.
BUT here am again on the brink of another such moment when i realize the same question and resolution and introspct myself on where did i went wrong this time?
And the only thing that comes in my mind is:
I never did wrong to my Ex friend...It was his/her decision to spoil whatever bond we had ( mainly because of back bitching,not trusting me,a small argument o whatever!)
it was there decision to go find new friends.
i don't stop them.
however i will wait for the time when they would realize my worth one day in the future and would ask themselves,,why did they ruined it all...
and that day i would be at peace as i would prove my credential as a friend to atleast a handfull of Ex friends...
Life comes back at you.
people come and go...friendship grow ..friendship shrinks...but one day.. one thought ..one moment can change everything taking u back on track to the road u left...
thats life
however we never stop making friends or remembering the old ones...
we just go onn and onn.
Life is a train...there are your family members and soulmate who will get down with you(fixed by the god to the same destination)...
but also there are fellow passengers (the friends) who can make your stay in the train worthwhile..however u dont know whether they would be with you till the end(ur destination) or would leave at the next station...leaving u with the oppurtunity to meet someone better...
But that too before leaving a mark - good or bad - FOREVER.
but also there are fellow passengers (the friends) who can make your stay in the train worthwhile..however u dont know whether they would be with you till the end(ur destination) or would leave at the next station...leaving u with the oppurtunity to meet someone better...
But that too before leaving a mark - good or bad - FOREVER.
thats it for now..comments and criticisms are welcomed.....
